In front of unknown

I catch myself on a sort of mental speculation! Just wondering if that happens to you too? So, hoping that my story will resonate with your soul, I’ve decided to share my experiences so publicly.

So, what is that mysterious mental speculation I am talking about? Every time I was standing in front of something unknown, being it an object, a fact or event, instead of confessing that I do not know or understand it, I used to immediately grab whatever tag out of my sack of known things, and label my unknown object, even before thinking or feeling it. I used to do it in such a rough manner, as if I was ashamed to take some time for thinking, as if somebody was watching me and counting seconds, and judging  me for how fast I would cook my verdict and give a definition to this unknown.

I clearly understood that I was doing something wrong, and naturally, a simple question has been raised to my mind – “what if I do not label or define the things around me, or at least for some time?” I felt somehow, that my definitions were my obstacles to truly understand the essence of things from inside. So, I decided to make a small experiment. I took a minute or two observing those things before defining them. I actually started observing not so much those objects, but observing myself, in the process of observing those unknown things.

Saying honestly, those minutes of inner silence were very hard to sustain. Well at least it was hard for me. It felt like staying still, without breathing, watching a meter and proudly resisting each second.

Strange thing is that when I stopped generating my perceptions, I felt that these objects started revealing themselves more. It is like listening good music carefully and catching more sounds and phrases in it. You keep yourself from naming it. You just let those objects to tell about themselves. Make sure you let them to tell enough, so that you could gather as much colors of that feeling, as it is enough to build up the true image of the source of these feelings.

It is sensible only through listening, not through thinking. You see, when we think, we talk in out thought, and usually when we talk we do not feel in that very moment. We somehow know what we should say, and we just say it. Thinking takes your ready thoughts and tries to match them to the feelings and if it succeeds – you would name that feeling the thought that you are holding. But that is exactly what is wrong! You should not cover alive feelings with your instantly found but dead thoughts. Listen without interruption. Just be kind, and you will definitely experience your perceptions becoming more sensitive and rich. Slowly you will give a birth to the new senses that would otherwise pass by, unless you would allow them to flourish inside you.

It may take a week or two, but I promise if you sincerely try this – you will notice the change. It really works.

Sad thing is that the moment I decide to recall these feelings, analyze them or just think about them, those feelings just stop streaming. I used to observe those feelings always in past tense, never in present or in real time. What I could not achieve is doing feelings and thinking in the same time. Though, somehow I know that it’s going to be something really extraordinary.

Usually, a very opposite happens – we stop feeling and boost thinking, and we break it into parts, compare to what we already know, define it, label it, frame it and kill it. Yes, kill, because after all, we have no live connection any more. We even feel no need in that connection. We start believing that thinking is a source and slowly start neglecting the real source of inspiration and creativity. We become more and more senseless, and if something happens and we understand it we would immediately start covering this disability with even more ridiculous slogan – “do not show emotions, otherwise they would think that you are weak”. I want to ask those people a simple question back: “Do you really think that you need to be weak to be sensitive? If so, could you please be weak say 30 minutes every day, when you are alone? It is an important procedure for maintenance of your sensual antennas!”

I used to make such comparison to better explain it: think about a properly played music which raises no emotions and emotionally played music, but played with many mistakes.

I used to perform on stage some jazz, and when it comes to the improvisation there is definitely a need of real-time feeling, as much as real-time thinking. If you only feel, you may hear great music in your ears, you can devote yourself to this music, penetrate yourself with a certain chord and play around nicely, but then next chord is coming and you are not ready to make a bridging phrase. So, you have to be awake, but if you are awake and think about next chord, how can you devote yourself to the previous chord?

It was clear that too much thinking was causing loss of sensitivity and rigidness of my phrases. Even other musicians were like this. It was so obvious for me that those musicians who tend to be feeling oriented, preferred to play more simplistic harmonies so that they could burn themselves in emotions better. On the other hand those whose strong side was thinking, they had found tricky patterns and they preferred complicated harmonies, to demonstrate their achievements better.

One thing I know from music that I needed both. I needed to be prepared mentally well. That meant to know many good phrases which is mainly achieved by listening of great musicians. Even copying them is a good learning tool. And ones your sack of known things becomes big enough, keep it open, start playing and you will instinctively use it in the moments that you would not even expect. But, actually while improvising, dive into the feelings, as if you do not have that sack. Each phrase had to be re-experienced before pronouncing. This real-time experience is a must. Nobody needs music which is experienced yesterday. Demonstrate real-time feeling, allow others to be connected to that source too, and you will attract others with such a great magnetism that you will be pleasantly surprised. It really creates an irresistible attraction.

Some people start cognition process from feeling. Some people start it from thinking. No, it would be more correct to say: sometimes we start from feeling and sometimes from thinking. But, no matter which way we take, the end is one, and it is to get harmonized with the opposite side. Understanding is nothing more than harmonizing feeling and thinking. And inspiration is joy of that harmony, which naturally leads to creativity. So, that’s how much we lose by neglecting feelings.

Morale:

  • Stop shouting your thought. Nobody needs your quick definitions. Stand silent in front of new experiences and allow it to tell its story, invite it, grow and allow it to flourish in your soul. Wait as much as it is necessary for the fruits to become sweet.
  • Perfection includes both feeling and thinking. Do not worry where you start from. Anyways, you will have to adapt yourself to the other standpoint.
  • When you see different, you have a chance to see yourself.
  • It is a miracle that we have an ability to understand new things. Thus you truly are more than what your sack of known things contains.
  • Observing feelings is not a sin and it is not diminishing the feelings. Just the opposite, amplifies them.
  • Creativity, inspiration and motivation, all have the root in feelings, not in thinking. So, do not neglect it, manage it!
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About Andro Dgebuadze

Thinker, Software Developer, Musician
This entry was posted in Philosophy & Spirituality and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to In front of unknown

  1. Giorgi Manjgaladze says:

    Listen without interruption… aq me davachire ‘add a favorite’..

    something like cannabinol and some magestic barbiturates mixture, something opposite of megalomania, something very ussual and sometimes very hard to achieve, but inspiration came first…

    keep that mood sensey 🙂

    • probnoblem says:

      I’ve never smoked or tasted any of those majestic mixtures you’ve mentioned, but I guess there are the ways to enter into the spiritual World from the window and from the gate.

      You know, I am a software developer, not a hacker.
      Can be same skill, but different mindset 🙂

      Stay Cool

  2. David Garibashvili says:

    Andro,

    Very interesting blog! You started thinking and perceiving the world as a true Hindu 🙂

    What you described – feeling and perceiving the things without labling or analyzing them, being in a real time, being in a moment of inner silence, etc. – is nothing more than meditation.

    I would also add that, by labling and defining subjects using our known terms, we immediately loose their true essence, which might be much deeper, rich and multi-dimentional, than we could imagine. So, by doing that we make things (or our understanding of things) simple, trivial, “stereotyped” and one-dimentional.

    • probnoblem says:

      True Hindu… What a compliment 🙂
      Yea I guess that is a meditation. The thing is that such a meditation shows the right path way better than any written doctrine.
      At least it is personal experience after all and very alive knowledge.
      Thanks for comment!

  3. Tamona Jonsson says:

    I`d like to comment this blogg i terms of different aspects. I found it interesting when u are talking about that somebody was stressing while u were recognizing new things by not giving u enough time in order to “digest” them the way u felt them. Did u reflect on what was making u stressed in that moment? I think it is quite interesting to reveal what is this mechanism which makes us stressed in such situations. Do we stress ourselves, do we compete with somebody or ourselves in order to confirm something to ourselves? What is the source for this process?
    I think a human being has tendency in generall to give names to things, new things, new individuals they meet. We like to categorize because it makes our world “safer”, “known” and “stable”. Everything which is not “stable”, “known” and “safe” may in fact be “dangarous”. Besides it is always matter of time and its consuming. I think we have tendency to oversetimate the timeconsumption: We think that we don`t have time to stand at think about objects which occure in front of us.

    I have to say that I was lucky to attend quite interesting courses related to the job I`m occupied with. The moral was to listen and forget all those “boxes” which appear to be “useful” when we categorize people we meet. I `m interested in people in general and I`ve always thought that I was pretty good at estimating/surveying them as different characters or personalities. I just wanted to confirm how talented I was in knowing so many characters. I was Sherlock Holmes in my wild fantasies:-). These course and related literature persuaded me that I knew f….ing nothing! Listen and watch.. and than again listen and watch -that`s what we learned. One of the most wonderfull book I have ever read is about one schizofrenic women who was cured in the end. She said that the most valueable connections which played a crucial role in her recovery was related to those people who knew nothing about her sickness and treated her the way she was. Don`t observe human being form the sickness point of view or some other layer which is already categorized by others (+your own categorization!!). Let the object talk by him or herself. Than u will probably know the true story.

    When you are talking about showing weakness by showing emotions I just have to comfort u with new tendencies based on several years of research in organizational psychology. It is concluded that the most healthy environment at working place is created when the leadreship reflects the emotions of the staff. One of the definition of leadreship is emotional process where the leaders express their emotions and evoke emotions in staff. Without feelings there is no organization. I`m talking about the recent research here. I`m so happy that this materialistic/capitalistic or whatever istic world is changing the route right in front of my eyes and appriciates humanity in relationships, business, methods of research, learning etc. This is one of the main sources for both productivity, teambuilding and successfull leadreship when it comes to working place.

    to be continued…:-)

    • probnoblem says:

      Yes, the tendency is definitely there though the Management books are not rewritten yet. Good example is TED.com. As it was said, indirectly or directly all TED Fellows say that life is not linear and from mechanic organization we need to move to the organic one. Education should not produce, it should help people flourish their talents, and same applies to management.

      By the way I am about to write another blog specifically about these issues. Please read it ones its published 🙂

  4. Tea says:

    Reading this i had a need to share two of my experiences, that were striking for me back those times in some ways. Very long time ago some day for some reason I had a desperate wish to see a definite person, who was not a friend of mine, I didn’t even know her properly and she was much older than me, so in it seemed that it wasn’t even possible to find a reason to see her. So solving this dilemma I began to think what was my drive, why I wanted to see her so much. In the end I understood the reason (which was quite simple). The important thing was that now, when I knew where the roots of my feeling were, it didn’t obsess me anymore. (There were several other aspects there, but they aren’t that important here).
    What is the point: I fully agree with you when you say, that standing in front of unknown we try to label it with our past thoughts, definitions and compare it with our past experience. That is a sort of “natural”, it’s a default option to feel a little bit scared. When we stand there we have to ask ourselves only one question-why do we feel so? The answer is as simple as the question itself: We are afraid of unknown, because we don’t know what to expect and thus, how to act. This makes us feel uncomfortable and we try to solve this dissonance by making the thing look more like what we already know, so we can use the known patterns of behavior regarding it. It’s a trick which our consciousness plays with us. But as soon as we know this, we have a chance to treat the “threat” in the form of unknown differently: it’s a chance to discover more.
    With this I come to the second defining experience, that I had in the school time, to be more exact at my botany lesson. We learned how the flowers were built and we looked at the pistil through the microscope. Since that my attitude towards the flowers has changed in several ways. At first I was just surprised: how come, that, what looked so familiar and beautiful seemed so different, unknown and unrecognizable. Than I was angry for exactly the same reason, because I could’ identify that what I used to know as a flower with what I saw in the microscope. As I saw a flower on the meadow, this “ugly” picture of some strange particles would always occur and I turned away disappointed (I don’t exaggerate). After some time I understood that these two visions of flowers didn’t necessarily have to distract and disturb each other and they began to merge. At this point, when I was able to end this struggle between my cognitive and emotional perceptions, I understood that I have developed much deeper insights into the nature of flowers. My vision of flowers was now much more than that of a beauty or of a molecule.
    Our life consists not only of cognitive but also of emotional. Neglecting one of them leads to restrictions of our understanding of life and ourselves. The solution is their synergy.
    We get our experience from different happenings, we start from different starting points, we use different words and definitions to share our experience, but our standpoint is quite the same, isn’t it? I think you get my key point here 🙂

    • probnoblem says:

      Tea, your botany lesson reminded me my story with geology. I used to work for an oil company for many years and used to go in the field trips with geologists from UK. I was a translator for that time.

      Ones I saw in the microscope the sediments, sandstones, and then micro fauna. Those guys were breaking the stones with hammer and then looking for micro fauna inside. I was shocked. Something which was just a stone, or at the most the beautiful nature, turned into the shells of living creatures of 20 million years old. and those guys were aging the formations and analyzing later the oil field. It was total magic for me.

      To cut my message in short I would conclude that when I see the micro world – it drags my brain out of box. It is like in the “Dead Poets Society” – standing up on the chair and perceiving the same World differently . But most importantly you have link them.

      Did you ever feel that your feelings are in fact chemistry and electricity? In fact they are, but you also feel that you are more, huh?

  5. Guram Mgeladze says:

    Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)
    Pregnancy and Birth Overseas- An opportunity to share!
    I’M BACK
    death and pregnancy

    Interesting related posts 🙂 Somewhere its related, from birth till death we seek, observe environment, we give and take, listen and touch. But from all of the experience of whole life, I guess the most important, is not to miss “It” while we live, then why will live at all 🙂

    Geat Mind, Great Software Developer, Great Article 🙂

    • probnoblem says:

      Guram,

      quick question for you since you’ve raised a topic of not loosing the life.
      Would you do more if you’d believe that you live only one time and there is no re-incarnation? Or, would you do less if you’d accept idea of re-incarnation?

      • Tea says:

        Pity that we don’t have any „like“ buttons here. That is a very good point. Actually I’ve thought about this. I’d like to bring one quote here later, when Guram says his word. I don’t know the “rules” of blogging, but I hope it’s ok to interrupt in other peoples question-reply-rounds 🙂

      • Guram Mgeladze says:

        I really do not believe in re-incarnation, but if i did, i would knew that my mind could not remember the previous life, so i think i would have done more. No re-incarnation or incarnation, it doesn’t matter. This life, with this mind, is given once.

        P.S. Myself, I am kind of religion so I believe that the life is given to us to enjoy it, create something valuable, gain and spread love and to prepare ourselves for eternity. I think each of us have its own kind of mission, which we must find out, recognize it, make it and somehow, in your topic i saw the process of finding “it”.

  6. Laura says:

    Things and feelings about you speak are not unknow for me. I have more problem to express or speak about them that openly.
    Hope someday will learn from you!!!
    I’m woman and make inner feelings more complicated. Sometimes worried a lot, thinking a lot. How can you suppose not needed but…
    Maybe afraid to open myself for not to disappoint me or someone. That is easier but everyone know it is not good way…
    I don’t wanna be a riddle that no one will solve.

    • probnoblem says:

      Laura,

      Learn from somebody better than me. I am so green at writing blogs 🙂
      Because of woman, I’d expect you to be complicated, but in my point there is no too much feeling and too much thinking, as long as they interchange 🙂

      You know, I believe that in Heaven the angels are nude. You do not have to hide. No point. And nobody points others nudity, and if somebody point – they are kicked down to earth. So, you may agree and say – yea, that’s Heaven, but we are on the Earth. I’d say true, but we all want to live in Heaven, we all want to be nude and see each other in their natural state. It’s just a prisoner’s dilemma – what stops us. But there is a solution! Open yourself and thus make others to be ashamed about their closeness. Then you both are in Heaven.

      … and don’t think that you can enter in Heaven alone 🙂

  7. Tea says:

    Andro, hier the quote i wanted to share above: “What if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more’ … Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: ‘You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine” and another: “in the world of eternal return the weight of unbearable responsibility lies heavy on every move make we make… in the world, that rests essentially on the nonexistence of return, everything is pardoned in advance and therefore everything cynically permitted…” (this is somehow linked to the problem we saw in “crimes and misdemeanors”).
    and so one general questions : is the idea of reincarnation a blessing or a curse? maybe the next blog topic? 🙂

  8. Levan Tsakadze says:

    Definitely, we have no choice but to deal with our feelings, because we are human beings. Point is, that if not managed, feelings can mislead and thoughts are required to verify true spirit of events.
    I would say in different way – listen, but do not believe. We should stay vigilant towards our emotions and feelings.

    • probnoblem says:

      Levan – sorry for trouble of pasting your comment here, and thanks for doing that.

      I agree, feeling alone is an enemy of thinking. But if you think while feeling or feel while thinking – that takes you to completely different level which is by its nature higher than both, feelings and thinking. I’d say Thinking is father, Feeling is Mother and The honesty (dislike this word in English, I mean სინდისი) is The Child. Child is a progress in this case, it is more advanced than parents, but it can not be born without parents.

      Listen but not believe! Definitely! As Russians say Trust, but check. It’s an old Communist saying but actually it has a great occult meaning if you ask me. If you do not trust, no new feeling or idea enters inside you. And if you do not check – you learn and gain nothing – you are just fundamentalist then

  9. Nino says:

    I was raised to believe in the value of hard work and doing right things. If you borrow something, you return it in a more better condition than when you got it. If you dream of something, you should do your best, If you failed, you have to try again. If someone needed something, you should gave without a thought. If someone needs something, you even should think how to help if you can, before you are asked even for.

    I think today, no matter if it is a business or a general private life, while we are creating something, we need to look to technologies, advertising or music, to begin spreading a more hopeful, respectful, kinder way rather than “what am I going to get out of this”.

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